Friday, February 13, 2009

Just a Little Please!

I went to get a haircut today. It's Valentine's Day, so I thought I should look presentable to the world. I asked for the usual. "Clean it up please, but don't take too much off". And it got me thinking about the last several hundred times I've said those words. "Just a little please". Or something to that effect. Fortunately, today the barber was great. She took just a little off. And I had to prod her to take a little bit more off.

But that's the exception, not the rule. Normally, you say, "take a little off", and the next thing you know you're practically bald! Now hair always grows back, so it's not a huge issue. But I just don't understand how those 4 words can mean something so drastically different to different people. I didn't say, "cut my hair down to my scalp!", did I?

But it's not just haircuts, and this one is a bit more bothersome to me. Whenever I order a sandwich, from wherever I happen to go, this fact remains the same. I always ask for light on the mayo. And then I back it up with "just a little bit of mayo" so they can't get confused with whether I want normal mayo or light mayo or just a little bit of regular mayo or lots of light mayo.

9 out of 10 times they lather the mayo on. And they'll put it on both sides before I can get them to stop. If that's a light serving of mayo, I'd hate to see their normal serving. Sure we all have our different measurements for what we think is light or heavy, but damn, if someone asks me for a little bit, I'm giving them a little bit. And I'm not smearing it on both sides. And I'm certainly not putting so much on that when you hold the bread between your hands, mayo oozes out the sides.


Geoff said...

It's all about the Miracle Whip. Granted, most places don't carry that.

Lefty said...

@Geoff - wow! I can't believe you do Miracle Whip. That stuff is one of those concoctions that you just can't trust. I mean, what is it? It's not mayo.